When I first moved to Finland about 6 months ago, I could not feel anything else than “overwhelmed”. For me, moving from a latin american country to a nordic nation has been the biggest and most shoking thing I might have ever done, and it has changed me. From the moment I stepped out of the airplane some ideas persisted in my head, ideas about snow, extreme coldness, lapland, raindeers, and most importantly CHANGE.
As many other foreginers that arrive to Finland, the reason for me to be here is love. It must be a great love if it made me travel to one of the coldest and darkest countries in the world during the winter. Surprisinlgy, I kind of like it here. I feel Finland is one fascinating nation…The idea that most atracts me about this country and its culture is the darkness. I feel that the idea and of course physical presence of darkness have such a great impact on people, on nature, on time, on everything.
During summertime Finland is complete joy, activity, chilling in summercottage, fishing, eating some makara and just enjoying of the greatest thing we have on earth, the sun. I have to admit I have always taken sun for granted without knwing it, coming from the equator, a place where we live in eternal spring. I realized about it the moment when the days started to get shorter, the nights started to get longer, and I started to feel colder inside. The expression in the faces of the people in the metro, in the streets, in my own home, had transformed into this tired/sad/tired/annoyed/tired type. Even my own face.
I started experimenting this constant anxiety of being home, running away from the wind, the rain the cold, sheltering myself under dim lamp light and submerging into my books. Very few words spoken, confusion. I was feeling so damn sleepy ALL THE TIME!!!! so damn hungry ALL THE TIME!!! I could not believe I was spending all my energy in such basic things as eating, resting, sleeping, few steps to do dishes, some reading, some drawing, bit music, thats it. Even my relationship with my boyfriend had changed.
Of course we were a pair of zombies as everyone else in nation in this time of year. Still loving with each other and warm, but just so TIRED. And it is now, it is today I realized that inside this strange times there is some magic hidden behind the courtain. There are so many small things being born from this obsucre bakground. This culture is being constantly mold by the contrast of its seasons, by the power of their individuality and also a bit by the struggle of loneliness. Finnish people are special, beginning from their language, to the way they make art or cook. And I feel so glad to be here, becasue I feel I am being part of something, embarcing darkness and coldness, being transformed by it, inspired by it. Challenged by new ideas fro me such as individualism and distance, but surviving, and enjoying of it.